I can see it...so it becomes REAL

This is my collage, glued to the front of a Christmas album cover:

Why on the front of a Chrismas album cover you ask...??  I wanted something that I could prop up in front of me while I work at my computer.  Something I could move about the house and prop up wherever I want to.  And it was handy.  Never diss the power of handiness!!!

I made the collage tonight.  I very nearly didn't.  I was tired and the lure of just giving up and heading to bed was very strong.  I felt such despair..I can NEVER make this happen.  Have you ever felt like that?  It's such a hollow feeling.  Putrid, almost. 

Somehow, I just pushed through, I think mostly because I felt so much anger about how stuck I have been.  But then...I did it!  I made something visual.  Something that has a lot of power.  Something that somehow, via bits of cut-up magazine pictures and glue, makes a vision REAL in my own mind.  This is me.  The real me.  And I have the will to make this show on the outside.

Sure, I have not made it all happen yet.  But I have surely started.  Isn't it true that when I set my mind to something...I make it happen?  So why not this?

Why not a strong, healthy, flexible body full of abundant, good healthy food?

Why not a skilled equestrian, strong swimmer, and flexible yoga practitioner?

Why not a beautiful home and garden?  Why not more children?  Why not continue with the adventure that is my marriage to my love (or "lobster", as we say to one another)?

I can do it and the truth of it is inside me.