Westwood Manor

Creative Misbehavior

2012-01-26T16:07:00.000-08:00

Joining Kmama and Emmy with a Proud Mommy Moment. My 3-year old son is so fiery and fun!

Today he is very upset that I won't let him have a 2nd Popsicle. Hoping to distract him from his big tantrum (which I just ignore, but hate listening too), I sit down and start reading one of his books. He continues to scream and cry but comes closer and it almost works! He starts to get interested in the book but then quickly remembers that he is ANGRY about the LACK of a Popsicle. He looks around for some way to communicate just how upset he is. He sees the 2 baskets of books next to the reading chair, picks them up and dramatically dumps out all the books, screaming "I DON'T LIKE BOOKS!" I ignore him and continue reading; he continues to scream and cry. After a few minutes, he begins to lose steam so I calmly inform him that he needs to put his books away. He starts throwing them really hard into the baskets, as if he wants to hurt each book. I tell him he must be more gentle with his books; he wails "I AM TOO TIRED TO PUT BOOKS AWAY!" I say OK but he will need to take a nap instead, since he is so tired. More screaming ensues, complete with stamping feet and dramatically throwing himself down on the floor and crying because he hit his head on the hamper basket. "YOU HURT ME!", he yells.

I see this isn't working so I change tactics and tell him I am going to my room and I will come out once he has put all the books away. More screaming and crying, followed by sudden quiet. I can almost hear the brain cells clicking away. I hear a scraping, sliding noise. He is pushing his books, one by one, under my door. Although this is quite a bit more work for him than simply putting them in the baskets, as a battle-of-wills tactic, it is quite brilliant! I must confess I am highly impressed with his creative thinking abilities. With the books in my room, he can't put them away, now can he? AND I will be forced to engage with him in order to forge ahead in this battle (or "teaching moment", if you prefer a kinder, gentler phrase). His craftiness is not yet complete. He very sweetly tells me he has a present for me. "Do you like your book present, Mama?" This is his way of trying to make up without having to give in. I remind him that he is supposed to put the books in the baskets. I slide the books back under the door into the hallway. More quiet. He runs down the hall to play with his trains but can only hold out a minute or two. At last, I hear him putting his books away. I come out of my room with a big smile and ask him if he put all his books away. He happily says "Yes, come and see." I do see! I tell him he did a good job and then I clap for him. He claps too and smiles with pride. We hug and then go play with trains.

Yarn Along - Hoodie, Washcloth and Sunset

2012-01-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Joining Ginny's Yarn Along again this week and Work in Progress Wednesday.

This is the hood of the hoodie I am knitting for Joaquin. He is growing so fast, I need to knit FASTER! I decided to knit a different contrast pattern and it reminds me of the zigzag on Charlie Brown's shirt, but my husband quickly rose to my defense, claiming it absolutely DOES NOT and is very nice. What do you think?

Because nearly all books are packed up for the big move this Saturday, this week I am reading the Sunset magazine that arrived in the mail today. I laughed when I read the cover "Best Places to Live" since we are moving this week. Too late to move to one of the "best places". (smile)

I also started on another horse washcloth, this time in a lovely smokey lavender color. I received so many nice comments about the one I finished last week, it inspired me to knit another one! Thank you for all the encouraging feedback. As a "new" knitter, it really made me feel happy.

We are moving into a nice rental home on a farm in Clarksburg, CA. The farm is planted in grapes and this will be our view from our backyard. We are very excited about the move and daunted by the amount of work ahead to accomplish it! Wish me luck!

Rainy Days

2012-01-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

It has finally rained! So welcome (even though it's bad for our store business, as people don't stroll around so much and shop in SF when it rains).

Definitely time for warm soup in the soup mug that was a gift from my husband because, as he says, he likes my tomatoes! He's so funny!

Sandman and Yogurt - This Moment and FO

2012-01-20T09:47:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm joining SouleMama and Tami's Finished Object

SouleMama's {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - not words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraorddinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember.

My FO (finished object) is a Sandman I made as a Christmas gift for a baby newphew:

This book inspired me to consider sewing by hand more frequently and I really enjoy it. It's relaxing and convenient and so much more soothing that using a machine. The Sandman project is from this beloved book and I'm sorry for the blurry photo but we forgot to take a picture until the present was opened and then only had a cell phone to work with. The Sandman is a nice gift for a baby or toddler as it is shaped to fit into the crook of their neck at bedtime. It offers many textures for little fingers to stroke for comfort; the body is velour, the moon is satin, and the stars are cotton crochet with little bumps and ridges. It is stuffed with wool so it warms when snuggled. I used to make these to sell at Waldorf school craft fairs and they were a best seller. One frantic mother contacted me a few years after I gave one as a baby shower gift. Her son had worn it down to threads to where she could no longer patch it and she asked me to make another. I was very touched and pleased to know that my gift was so well loved. I am thinking of offering a photo tutorial on how to make one (but not provide the pattern as that should really come from the book), if anyone is interested please let me know. I have so appreciated the tutorials that others have provided and would like to "pay it forward".

Yarn Along - Spa Crochet and Knit

2012-01-18T10:03:00.000-08:00

Joining Ginny's Yarn Along today, still working on my "spa" gift for my horse trainer. I finished the 2nd knitted horse wash cloth and crocheted a matching soap saver. Linking to Mommy Club Wednesday and Work in Progress Wednesday and Ambassador Crochet too! So fun!!!!

These were both new patterns for me and I am very happy with the results. The wash cloths were a good way for me to improve my knit and purl skills. Although I have been knitting for about a year on a fairly regular basis, I seem to be a bit of a slow learner. But I am really enjoying the process. I had a friend's mother offer advice to me as a teenager where she explained that up until recently, she had spent her entire life trying to do MORE. That she believed if she would just get more organized and work harder, she could somehow get it ALL DONE. And that what she wished for us, was that we wouldn't make that mistake. That we would, instead, savor the moments and understand that we can't really ever get it all done. And that the point isn't to get it all done, the point is to slow down and enjoy each moment. Sadly, I did not heed her advice and now find myself at the age of 51 knowing that I have more years behind me than ahead of me and wishing, so much, that I had done as she advised. In the last year, I have learned to do as she advised--and it is making a HUGE difference in everything. I enjoy my marriage more, my children more, everything I do is so much more enjoyable. I feel closer to God and more connected to the love that is all around us and in us. And I have stopped worrying about getting it all done. Jesus says not to worry. If I am worrying, I am not in the present moment and the present is really all there is. And it is surely more than enough for me.

I started crocheting another soap saver and adjusted the pattern to accommodate a larger bar of soap:

And I also started a blue one to match the scrubbie that I made last week:

I think I will make another one for my husband. We are in the midst of packing up for our move on 1/28 and I find the rhythm of crocheting and knitting helps me to relax. Perhaps it's not the best use of my time, but I'm doing it anyway.

Pippa!

2012-01-17T13:09:00.000-08:00

Introducing our family dog, Pippa! She is a big fat love. She would rather snuggle with us than eat, even when she's hungry.

Her ears are always lop-sided like this.

Joaquin loves to pretend he is a dog, too. He licks my face and giggles when I make a face and say it's "Yucky!". The more dramatic my reaction--the better!

See how delighted he is with the mischief he has made?

Yarn Along

2012-01-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

Joining Ginny's Yarn Along today with a gift project that is both knit and crochet:

I finished the denin blue Nubbie Scrubbie, which is a quick and easy crochet project. The knitted wash-cloth with the walking horse is not quite as nicely done as I am still not that good at knitting, even though I've done a lot of projects. I'm getting better but the improvements are slowly obtained and hard won. The funny thing is that I enjoy knitting more than crocheting, something about the rhythm of the needles and using both hands more is very relaxing.

I am casting on a companion wash cloth in this pattern. My plan is to give the 3 as a gift in a little spa box that I crocheted:

I also want to try making a couple of these felted soap cozies (photo from Ravelry):

I already have the yarn and have always wanted to try felting. Wish me luck!

I started reading this book and am really happy I chose it:

I was impressed that it had 196 reviews on Amazon! I am getting a lot out of this so far and am reading, again, the book of John. Each time I read it, I see something that I didn't before. I guess that's because the words don't change, but we do.

This book starts out with a comparison of the images and text that we see in our Christmas cards versus the mood and experiences of the participants in the birth of Jesus. Since Christmas is just over, it's all fresh in my mind and I felt some pain this year about how far away from a real Christmas experience we had in our home. I was so inspired by what Ginny's family did and am resolved to create a more relevant experience for my family next year. The changes have to first come from within me and I think this book is a good start.

The author asks himself "If Jesus came to reveal God to us, then what do I learn about God from that first Christmas?" and then: "The word associations that come to mind as I ponder that question take me by surprise. Humble, approachable, underdog, courageous--these hardly seem appropriate words to apply to deity." I think his discussion that follows is really enlightening, especially when I think of the entire event of Jesus' life.

I am just starting Chapter 3 and would love for some others to join me in reading it and sharing thoughts. Please leave me a comment if you are interested, thanks.

Trains and new plans for 2012

2012-01-03T14:42:00.000-08:00

We often go out for breakfast. A habit we are giving up in preparation for our new lifestyle of frugal, but rich living. Joaquin loves trains so to keep him amused while we wait for our breakfast, we draw train tracks and a round house on the back of his placemat:

All engines safely asleep in the round house...

We're embarking on a new adventure as a family and will no longer be indulging in many breakfasts in restaurants. We've decided to move back to my hometown of Clarksburg and get licensed once again in Yolo County as foster parents, hoping to adopt again. So our plan is for me to stop working when my contract ends in early April. Plant a huge garden, get a couple of chickens and try to make the store pay for all of our living expenses. It's through the experiences shared on blogs such as Tonya's, that I feel hopeful and encouraged enough to try this. Seems like I have wanted financial security my whole life and have never had the discipline to achieve it. So this is scary but I believe the chance to align daily living with values will be the impetus to make this successful. Perhaps we will fail, but I can't stop myself from wanting to try.

Oblivious?

2012-01-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

My husband and son came with me to the barn where I keep my horse for an appointment with the vet. I had to make a decision whether or not to have a procedure done on my horse and so wasn't paying any attention whatsoever to my son. My husband brought the camera and was snapping away:

So there I am talking to the vet and Joaquin is making his own discoveries, of which I am oblivous.

It goes on:

Seeing these photos just made me think about all those moments where I am oblivious to his experiences. Hmmm.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

Ian visited for Christmas and we had a hilarious time trying to take family photos. Mark shot several with me and Ian and Joaquin, then he set the timer on the camera for a shot with all of us. But somehow, that wasn't quite what Joaquin wanted. We all couldn't help but laugh at his dramatic behavior.

As I am falling asleep most nights, I thank God for my family. I tell him that I feel so lucky and so happy. I am so blessed to have a loving husband, and happy, healthy 3-year old Joaquin at home. My 24-year old son, Ian, lives in southern CA and is happy, and finding work on a regular basis doing sound work in the film industry. My siblings and parents are all doing well and still with me and still love me after all these years. We have a sweet family dog, Pippa, who adores us. We are all very lucky, and very blessed.

My "medicine"

2011-12-31T22:05:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog, I wanted to post very regularly, at least 4 times a week. I was doing OK last August until a big event in my life changed my daily and weekly rhythm and I just let the blogging slip away.

The big event was that we bought a horse for me. His is my "medicine" and his name is "Doc" (I kid you not!) I didn't name him, that was just a happy coincidence. Speaking of "Doc" and "Happy", did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are NOT happy? (My husband told me that joke.)

I don't have any good photos of Doc yet as he is a big challenge to photograph on my own (he always comes up to me when turned out in the arena so I can't get him to be far enough away to shoot properly on my own) and when my husband comes to watch me ride, we have a boisterous 3 year-old with us who, thus far, has rendered the photographic effort to be, well, let's just say "non-productive".

Here is a photo of us on the day the vet visited:

He is a very pretty bay thoroughbred, age 15, which is "middle-aged" for a horse and he is very sensible. I love riding. As a systems analyst, I am a professional "thinker" and it's hard to quiet my mind. When I ride, there can be nothing else going on and my mind gets a rest. If my mind wanders, Doc knows it. Riding is a partnership between me and my horse. We have to be in tune with one another. He's very powerful, so I need to be sure we're communicating well and my focus HAS to be on him. Not on anything else. So it's a little vacation for my mind and I find it incredibly addictive for that feature alone.

My loving husband always encourages me to go ride and I am so thankful for his generosity. He takes care of Joaquin while I ride and I'm usually gone for 3 hours each time--at least 4 days a week. He got tired of me thanking him all the time and finally "explained" it to me. It went something like this:

Me: I know I've told you before, but I just want to be sure you know how much I appreciate your support with my riding. It means so much to me, thank you.

Him: (huge sigh...) Look. I am a selfish man. When I "let" you go riding, I always get back a happy wife. I LIKE having a happy wife. When you ride, you lose weight and get more fit. I want my wife to be healthy. I want my wife to be around for a long, long time. For ME. I like the way you look when you are riding and fit. That pleases ME. So this is really all about ME and what I want. You don't have to thank me.

Me: Oh.

Riding is also very physically demanding (I am learning dressage) and it's outdoors in the fresh air. Not only that, but it is surprisingly social. You develop a relationship with your trainer and other riders at the barn. And you have a relationship with your horse. Horses are amazing. So willing to cooperate and so giving and sensitive. I just love riding. Today I had a really lovely "practice" ride (that's where I ride by myself and try to practice everything I've been learning in lessons) and it went really well. I come home floating on another plain...so happy...and so "rested"...and so worn out from the physical demands. Very good medicine!

Knit, Crochet, Reading...and kindness...

2011-12-28T16:01:00.000-08:00

Joining Ginny today. I knitted a simple wash cloth (just a square that was all garter stitch) and then crocheted this scrubbie type wash cloth for my husband.

My husband really likes them both. He is always so encouraging and appreciative of my creative efforts. He says it's because he's an art school graduate, but I know it's really because he is kind. I appreciate his kindness and his fun sense of humor so much. Here's a sample of his humor:

Setting: A busy breakfast restaurant where a TV is mounted directly over my head. He keeps glancing up while we are talking, so I give him "the look".

Hubby: I'm just watching that game, you know, the one with the funny shaped ball. (This is a reference to the fact that he knows nothing about sports and likes it that way.)

Me: Soccer?

Hubby: No, football. Soccer doesn't have funny shaped balls.

Me: Yes they do! They have all those weird hexagons all over them so they look round, but close up they really aren't.

Hubby: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that...(deadpan) I love talking sports with you.

I am reading Nick Hornsby's "Juliet, Naked". I rarely read novels, and I am really enjoying it. I love how honest his characters' inner dialogues are. And there is always a very subtle thread of kindness that runs through his books, which I love. This is one of my favorite songs because I love the lyrics (particularly the line "in the end, only kindness matters") and it makes me think of Ginny and her blog. We've never met, or even spoken--I only "know" her through her blog, which I love reading.

I want to be more kind. I have been reading the book of John again to try to connect more with Jesus. People were amazed by him and loved being with him. I know that kindness would have been such a strong presence. I am counting on him to be kind with me.

Joaquin drives a "Digger Truck"

2011-11-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of little boys, Joaquin is obsessed with vehicles. Fire trucks, dump trucks, street sweepers, tanker trucks, monster trucks, tow trucks, garbage trucks, digger trucks...he knows them all by name. Well, thanks to his Uncle Mark's generousity, Joaquin got to actually drive one! He was one happy, excited boy!

That's his cousin behind him to his right, they are 1 year apart and will hopefully grow up close. I remember how much fun I had with my cousins, Kelly and Lori! Good times...

Halloween (revisited)

2011-11-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

I have been sick a lot this year so was not really in the mood for Halloween. I just sort of ignored it and hoped it would go away. I'm so glad it didn't! Our first trick-or-treaters arrived, much to Joaquin's delight! He immediately wanted to go, too. So we dressed him up in the dinosaur costume I had made for Ian when he was 2 (it came out a size 4, I always have trouble with sizing) so it was a perfect fit for Joaquin. He didn't like wearing the hat but he loved having a tail and claws.

We only visited the neighbors that we knew and each household made a big fuss over him. He was so sweet, happily saying "trick or treat" and then a heartfelt "Thank you!". My husband was very good at making this happen and even helped out by wearing the hat (see previous post). After we were done, I just went to bed, but they stayed up playing music and dancing in-between visits from (just a few) trick-or-treaters.

This Moment

2011-11-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

Participating today in Soulemama's "This Moment", a Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Savor and Celebrate!

2011-09-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

Vibrant life goals for the next 2 weeks:
1. Yoga twice a week
2. Celebrate my successes...create a habit of celebrating each accomplishment
3. Chew slowly, savor each bite, slow down...enjoy! This really IS the only moment there is.

Savor...flowers from the Farmer's Market
Aren't they pretty?

My HUGE revelation during this process of creating a more healthy, vibrant life:

For a smart person, I am really, really good at getting in my own way and...surprise! NOT. SEEING. IT.

What is up with that? I mean, I read about this happening to other people and think, "Well they just don't WANT to see it." and "They probably aren't all that bright." Yeah, if I'm gonna write a blog...I'm gonna tell the truth about myself, even if it means publishing to any of my few readers, just how awful I can be. I'm not proud of that. But, while I see the value in discretion, I think there's a fine line between revealing too much and keeping it real. I'm sure all bloggers wrestle with this, but since it's happening to me...it's a SIGNIFICANT. (I laugh at myself.)

Anyway, about the "willful blind spots", I find myself questioning my intelligence. It's humbling. But also, I am fascinated to discover what ELSE have I been willfully deluding myself about? It opens up a whole new realm of discovery! I find myself in the kitchen, questioning whether or not there isn't some other "truth" about my household management that is keeping my kitchen a disgusting, disorganized mess. I actually think there IS! Ta da! This could be very, very FUN! I think it's going to be a bit like taking acid. I've never indulged (too scared and not where I want to put my energy). But really...this is...really...just...NEW! and different. And quite interesting.

Bonus flowers from the Farmer's Market
(I liked this one and she only had 1 so she said if I bought a bunch I could have this one for free.)
Wasn't that nice?

I have to ask myself, "What was I gaining from holding onto my delusion?" There has to be something. Or many things. There was a strong motivation there to deceive myself. What was it?

The area I am focusing on today is my kitchen. I hate it. It's gross. And frustrating to cook in. Why have I INSISTED on trying to implement (and failing miserably) my silly "big project management" style of task planning when it CLEARLY has never worked? Um. Maybe because I really don't want to deal with the kitchen? And maybe it's just easier to leave it to "some day" or "next week" or whatever?

Here's what happened this week: I had really psyched myself up to do one little project per day in the kitchen. I had them all outlined and planned. Clean the cupboard over the fridge. Which would clear up space to allow me to organize the kitchen counter. Then, clean out the cupboard underneath the counter. And then clean out the drawer in the stove. And so forth... So, I stood in my kitchen on the BIG DAY that I was to start on all this. And...huh! Turns out, I didn't WANT TO. That's why I'm failing. I don't want to. I hate cleaning and organizing disgusting messes. So, I can just continue to plan and live in the future, OR I can choose something else. But first, I have to stop deceiving myself. That's the first step. The truth is, I make elaborate plans so I don't have to do it now but I somehow feel better because I have it all "handled". It's going to get done. Someday. And while someday never comes, I have to live in and cook in a disgusting, dirty, disorganized kitchen. I am very certain that this truth I have found about my kitchen, and my elaborate planning scheme, probably applies to EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE! Yowsa!

Time to honor task #2. Celebrate! Yay Kerri! You figured something out! Way to go! Cha cha cha... (my dance moves, in text format).

And I am finding out how to live in the moment. Loving being part of a happy, caring family. Here is my happy husband and our sweet boy on Labor Day morning:

Joaquin tries out his new scooter/skateboard
while hubby drinks coffee in his new "Raiders of the Lost Ark" hat

I am using a tip I learned from one of my favorite blogs, to put pictures within my text to keep it more lively. I am working to find blogs on healthy, vibrant living and found this one: "Radiance is your natural state."

Healthy Food...ALL DAY LONG!

2011-08-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

I did it! I actually ate nothing but healthy, fresh food all day long. Must take a moment to celebrate!

I took the last of the leftover spicy lentils and slaw that I had made for tacos and turned them into a nice soup for breakfast by just adding some water and tomato paste and heating it up. Yum! I don't like most traditional breakfast foods, so soup is my favorite type of breakfast. Mid-morning, I ate carrots with garlic hummus from Trader Joe's. Then I ate an apple. By lunch-time, I really just wanted to heat up some frozen food. I looked in the freezer and saw a frozen entree of pasta and broccoli and thought to myself "I don't want all that SALT in my body." I must say, that was a surprising and proud moment. So instead, I quickly cooked some onions and fresh spinach and then scrambled some eggs into the mix with lots of black pepper. Yeah, I did notice that I eat soup for breakfast and eggs for lunch. That's just the way I roll. snicker...snort!

Mid-afternoon, I was still hungry so I whipped up a huge Kale salad with lemon juice and avocado. It really did only take 5 minutes! I learned how to juice a lemon using just a fork--less clean-up required than using a citrus juicer. Score! By the time I picked up Joaquin from pre-school, I was pooped. So I sat down with him and we ate lots of cherries and some grapes. By then, I felt rested enough to start on some dinner. I made stir-fried brown and wild rice with fresh orange juice and zest, broccoli, green beans and carrots--all organic from the farmer's market in Orinda. It didn't taste all that great as I am still fine-tuning that recipe, but it was OK and very colorful. I made coleslaw with a lemon vinaigrette, using sliced green and red cabbage and grated carrots. The freshness and tenderness of the farmer's market cabbage was amazing!

And then I had a glass of red wine, much needed after a long day at work and then dealing with my very demanding toddler. He is such a fiery little guy. So full of mischief...he boggles my mind sometimes. Now, I am so tired...I hope, hope, hope this healthy eating along with a lot of rest will help me get my energy back and allow my lungs to heal. I really don't think I spent any more time preparing the healthy food than I spend on eating the un-healthy junk that I ate in the past. That's right, Kerri! IN THE PAST!

Mellow Sunday

2011-08-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to be resting...resting...resting. No riding this weekend for me. Lungs still hurt. Still tired. Still coughing. Still getting woozy if I do much of anything. Ugh. Mark is working hard at the store today. Staying home with a toddler is great for a few hours. But then...he gets restless...which quickly turns to naughty. So it was more "restful" for me to drive him over to Tilden Park to the little farm.

Quack! Quack!

Everybody poops!

Prince Joaquin feeds a goat.

...and pets the goat.

Checkin' out the sheep.
He loves to wear that crown, even though he doesn't know what a "crown" is, yet.

Piglets...born on August 4th

Earnestly talking to a cow...

Riding the carousel

View from the carousel...wow, huh?

Posing at the Zebra Car
(notice the tail...)

Fearless! He climbs up there all by himself.

The big bonus for Mama? He falls asleep on the drive home. And is still napping. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Mark's Birthday Today

2011-08-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

A day off, together. Lovely. We took Joaquin to his pre-school and headed into the city for breakfast at Pat's. Pat was nice enough to take our photo:

Mark recently shaved off his goatee and mustache because Joaquin didn't want to give him kisses because he was too "pokey". Now he looks about 25, even though he turned 39 today. It's so annoying. When we were dating he looked older than his true age, because he smoked and drank too much and caroused around too many late nights. Now he eats a lot of healthy vegetarian food, never gets a night out, quit smoking, and rarely drinks more than a beer here or a glass of wine there. So...I married a guy that looked close to my age and now...well...not so much. Oh well, if that's my biggest complaint with him (and it is) I consider myself very fortunate. He makes me feel loved and encouraged every day and he's a lot of fun too.

After breakfast we visited the art galleries at 49 Geary. Had a nice little lunch at the cafe at Neiman Marcus. We observed a driver of a Bentley suited up and standing beside the car with the door open. Standing there for a good 20 minutes. I thought...oh my! A really rich person like you see in the movies is going to come out of the store soon. Sure enough...out comes an elderly lady in a wheelchair assisted by two store employees carrying zippered garment bags. People really do live like that! huh.

We headed over to one of my favorite bars, Marlena's, for a hot toddy. And then strolled around the shops, ending up at a gourmet chocolate shop and sampling several chocolates in lieu of a birthday cake. Too sick this week to do any baking. This darn bronchitis just won't let go. It was a lovely day and I never get tired of hanging out with my husband.

Yarn Along...2nd Wed in August

2011-08-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

Joining Ginny's Yarn Along today...

Crochet Project
Drawer Organizer

I am up to the 4th side of the Drawer Organizer that I started in July. I am looking forward to putting this to good use :)

A vest for Joaquin

I started knitting this back in February and for the last two months it has been sitting on my big desk waiting for me to finish it. I haven't been able to...very intimidated by the neck and arm hole finishing. I hope posting it today will be the kick in the pants I need to finish it by next week (before he outgrows it). It's from a Debbie Bliss knitting book, can't find it now but will post later.

I haven't done much reading because I've been sick and when my head is muzzy, I don't like to read. I am half-way through the Keith Richards bio and it's an OK read. Not riveting, but I am interested in his outlook and thought processes as his life has been so radically different than mine or anyone I know. There was a nice article in the Oprah magazine about vegetarian dinners. And the California Home Landscaping book is on loan from my horse trainer and has great garden plans that are inspiring.

Eating the Marnie way!

2011-08-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

Marnie, my vibrancy coach, gave me an assignment this week that is PROVING to me that I can eat fresh, healthy food with the same time and effort that it takes to eat over-processed, way too fat and salty food. Following her direction, I shopped last night at Trader Joe's and bought a lot of pre-prepped food. All fresh, a lot of it organic. My inner critic is quite vocal about how this isn't the "right" thing to do. I am supposed to buy ALL organic, non-packaged, fresh from the farmer's market or, better yet, my own garden. I am learning to ignore that voice. And, instead, to focus on what Marnie is patiently teaching me--it's about "progress, not perfection". Conceptually, that makes sense. But somehow my inner being is very SLOW to adapt. It's obvious, and just plain common sense that my shopping at Trader Joe's and buying pre-prepped food is a HUGE step in the right direction from shopping the frozen food isle at the grocery store.

Marnie is also teaching me to celebrate my success! I find that blogging provides a fun way for me to do that, as I enjoy sharing my successes and my challenges. It's turning out to be a great tool for supporting me in my goals. There is a sort of accountability, to myself, to step up and make progress every day. Just like the Yarn Along helps me to stay motivated on my crochet and knitting projects. I know how much I enjoy seeing what others have done, so I want to give back the same to anyone stopping by my blog.

So here is how my eating went today, and it was a HUGE improvement over anything happening in a very long time:

Breakfast!
Brown and wild rice with stir-fried veggies.

Marnie provided a quick little recipe for stir frying some veggies that she promised would take less than 10 minutes and she was right! I had started the morning by cooking a pot of long-grain brown rice mixed with wild rice. My favorite! I had found this easy recipe for making it on my stove-top and it has come out perfectly every time. Marnie had suggested that I make a big batch so I can throw it into salads and veggies throughout the week.

Lunch!
Organic corn tortilla with cheese, fresh salsa, kale, and avocado.

Green smoothie!
Collard greens, blueberries, strawberries, and banana.
Such pretty colors...right before I pushed the button to
"reconfigure" into teeny, tiny liquified bits.

Dinner!
Salad (using a bit more rice) with pasta.

I had two helpings of the salad and only the single serving you see in the photo of the pasta. Plus a glass of red wine. My body already feels more relaxed. Yay! Somehow, eating high-fat, salty foods makes me more tense and definitely more tired. I am very encouraged to think that I could make this my lifestyle...a regular habit...it was all quick and very easy.

Joaquin loves salad and pasta!

I discovered the key to Joaquin eating salad quite by accident. It never occurred to me that a 1-year-old would eat salad. (Yes, he is now 2 1/2, but he started eating salad when he was 1 1/2.) He wanted what WE were eating, so I put some salad on his plate. He had somehow gotten the idea that salad was some sort of treat only for Mama and Papa and he wanted some for JOAQUIN! And it just so happened that the first time he ate it, I had made the dressing fresh instead of using bottled dressing. That was the key! As long as it is fresh dressing, with some sweet and sour flavors, he eats a LOT and says "Yuuuummmm! Salad!". It's so funny!

Here is one of my favorite salad dressing recipes:

4 TBSP fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice
2 TBSP extra-virgin Olive Oil
2 cloves Garlic, crushed
1/2 TBSP raw Agave Nectar
1/2 tsp Tarragon
1/4 tsp Basil
1/4 tsp Oregano
1/2 tsp fresh ground Black Pepper
1/4 tsp Sea Salt

I am especially proud, and need to celebrate here for a moment, the fact that I made this healthy food happen today when I was still sick. I am very motivated because I have been sick a LOT this year and I am tired of it. Plus, I thought I'd see if Marnie was right and it was just as easy as preparing my frozen food and eating junk. Turns out she was right! I expect this won't be the last time, either. Of course my inner critic tried to spoil it all by saying that I ate a bit too much today...too many calories. How 'bout we all just tell her to SHUT UP!

Treasures in the mail

2011-08-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

I am so discouraged as I am sick. Again. Had a fever today. Couldn't focus, finally gave up on work for my corporate job and went to bed. One of our store employees quit unexpectedly so Mark worked all day going to a trade show to scout for new merchandise and then had to work the sales floor from 5 to 11pm. He's going to be tired tomorrow, but is very excited about the store right now. Yay!

Anyway...I had to rouse myself from my sick stupor and get out the door to pick up our son from "boat park" (Joaquin's name for his little daycare). I opened the front door to leave and there it was! A box on my doorstep. I knew immediately whence it came. I couldn't stop to open it, so had the delicious sense of happy anticipation all through picking my son up and stopping at Trader Joe's to stock up on fresh produce. Joaquin got his own shopping cart and filled it to the brim with Blueberries, Cantaloupe, a single husk of Corn, Cherries, Broccoli "Trees" (as he calls them), Pasta, a Banana, and some "healthy" version of Cheese Puffs. I was so delighted to see him make his own choices and see that they were all so healthy. It seems, amid all the crazy chaos and complete disorganization that is our life right now, we are doing something right.

I am so very much, looking forward to making changes in my life to slow it down. Simplify. Let go... And make it count. One of my inspirations for getting there is Tonya's lovely blog and it is from her family that I have the pleasure of enjoying my box of treasures in the mail:

We will use the branch holders for our nature table.
The buttons will go on a sweater I will knit for Joaquin.

Tonya included a kind note so it was like getting a gift from a friend. I love that!

We also chose a set of building blocks for Joaquin.

My favorite shot!

I realized, quite suddenly, that I could focus on how frustrating it is to be sick again. Or I could thank God for my many blessings. I chose the latter and my day, and my heart, feel so much better.

A Fair to Remember

2011-08-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

Weekend before last, I went to a little street fair. One of my favorite blogs is Oh the Cuteness! and Chase had mentioned she would be there. The location was just a couple of blocks from my candy store, so I thought it would be really fun to stop by. And it was! I had my toddler with me, so couldn't really chat easily with everyone or take as much time as I wanted, but he was very well behaved for a two-year old and I found some lovely things:

Joaquin chose this cute zipper pouch because it had a GARBAGE TRUCK on it!!!

And CARS inside!

It was made by .retool. "cool vegan stuff".

I really wanted one of Chase's owls, so I let Joaquin pick the one we would bring home:

Too cute, no?

I also found this vintage purse...what is it about blue purses?

from Beholden Vintage & Resale. Joaquin used it as "his" purse for the rest of the day. So cute...sweet...innocent...no idea that this could be fodder for teasing by other kids.

It was a very charming day...I found two t-shirts at the fair for my son, Ian. He's 23 and likes to wear shirts with funny captions. I thought this was a hilarious choice to give to my meat-eating son from his vegetarian, candy-store owning Mama:

They were made by a North Beach local, based on a quote he said to a bartender.

Last year I bought Ian a shirt that said "Meat is MURDER" and then in tiny letters below "tasty, tasty murder". He loves it because, besides being funny, if any vegetarians give him grief about it, he has an easy explanation of "My mom's a vegetarian and it was gift from her."

I also found this one:

My son likes ninja's and I used to call him "Fat Boy" when he was a teenager because he was so skinny. I was an obnoxious mother, I hope Ian forgives me. He is coming up from southern CA at the end of this month for a visit. We have a great time playing "The Settlers of Catan", although we call it "Siedler" because we learned to play from our German friend, Almut, and her lovely family. Ian is teaching me to play chess, so we have some fun one-on-one time with that. Joaquin loves his big brother. Plus, my husband likes eat meat and I won't cook it and he doesn't like to cook--but Ian does! So they usually enjoy a couple of nice steaks together. Plus, Ian will usually babysit one night while he's here, so Mark and I can have a night out together. Everybody is happy when Ian comes to town!!

My vision board is not selfish...I tell myself. Do I approve?

2011-08-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

Blogging, I find, brings a lot of things into question. There's a fresh awareness that springs from wondering how my entries are perceived. After my post on my collage, now renamed my "Vision Board" by my vibrancy coach (that's a term I made up for what she's doing for me), I became very self-conscious about it. Concerned that you would view the emphasis on myself, and not on being a wife and mother, as being shallow and self-absorbed. Marnie's feedback was just swell. She reminded me that it is our responsibility to ourselves and the universe to be our best selves. My definition of my best self is unique and our uniqueness is a key part of God's creation. Apparently, animals share the same DNA, but human DNA is absolutely unique. For a purpose. So I give myself permission and encourage myself to focus on being my best self.

Long ago, when my 23-year old was very young, I read a book about the pressure of our current culture on being a "good mother" and how, trying to live up to impossible standards and not honoring yourself, actually makes you a bad mother. I had to learn to put myself first, some of the time; otherwise, I absolutely could not provide good parenting for my son. It was, and still is, a difficult balance to maintain and I feel frustrated, sad, and angry about the pressure I feel from within to not focus on myself because it is "selfish". I don't think that's what God intends for us.

I have health issues that must be addressed. I am 40 pounds overweight, have borderline-high blood pressure. I suffer from uncomfortable bloating on a regular basis. My ankles swell. I have 2 types of skin cancer (the "better" 2 of the 4 types). I feel uncomfortable in my own body. And not ttractive, which makes me grumpy. I am tired ALL THE TIME. I get sick often. I am embarassed to see photos of myself because I think "That's not me!" "That CAN'T be me!

It is imperative to my well-being that I learn better ways of living and that is why, even though we really can't afford it, I am working with Marnie. We really can't afford for me to continue with my current living habits--they are marching me to an early grave and I have been a willing participant. Change is hard. I love my life. I love God for giving it to me. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my family and friends. I love horses and dogs and cats. I love to knit, and crochet, to sew and make music. I love to read and watch movies. I love to go for drives with my husband. I love doing almost anything with him (fighting...not so much--thankfully we spend little of our precious time on that endeavor). I want to feel vibrant, strong, healthy, flexible, and energetic. And so I am starting to learn new habits.

One of the most intersting ones, is that of celebrating my successes. I have always pushed myself to do better. No matter what I achieve, I barely pause to acknowledge that accomplishment because I am very focused on what I plan to do NEXT. Learning to stop and really, truly celebrate each victory has been oddly painful. It hurt, at first, to feel the feelings of celebrating a success. Because it was impossible to ignore that I have lived for 51 years WITHOUT doing so. I see how unapproving I have been toward myself. How unkind. How terribly judgemental. The opposite of what Jesus asks me to be. I judge myself harshly. I judge others harshly. What is the opposite of judging? I think it's approving. Regardless of whatever imperfections you see...approving. Or is it accepting? Or a mix of the two? So now I celebrate my little successes and when I forget, as often happens when creating a new habit, Marnie gently and firmly reminds me to do it. In fact, she tells me to stop and do it RIGHT NOW. And then she waits while I do it. And a tiny miracle happens. I feel better. I feel happy. I feel hope. And I want to do MORE of whatever it is that brings those feelings.

Celebrate!

I can see it...so it becomes REAL

2011-08-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is my collage, glued to the front of a Christmas album cover:

Why on the front of a Chrismas album cover you ask...?? I wanted something that I could prop up in front of me while I work at my computer. Something I could move about the house and prop up wherever I want to. And it was handy. Never diss the power of handiness!!!

I made the collage tonight. I very nearly didn't. I was tired and the lure of just giving up and heading to bed was very strong. I felt such despair..I can NEVER make this happen. Have you ever felt like that? It's such a hollow feeling. Putrid, almost.

Somehow, I just pushed through, I think mostly because I felt so much anger about how stuck I have been. But then...I did it! I made something visual. Something that has a lot of power. Something that somehow, via bits of cut-up magazine pictures and glue, makes a vision REAL in my own mind. This is me. The real me. And I have the will to make this show on the outside.

Sure, I have not made it all happen yet. But I have surely started. Isn't it true that when I set my mind to something...I make it happen? So why not this?

Why not a strong, healthy, flexible body full of abundant, good healthy food?

Why not a skilled equestrian, strong swimmer, and flexible yoga practitioner?

Why not a beautiful home and garden? Why not more children? Why not continue with the adventure that is my marriage to my love (or "lobster", as we say to one another)?

I can do it and the truth of it is inside me.

Wednesday Yarn Along

2011-08-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

I finished the Squash Baby Hat, using a washable wool yarn. I love participating in Ginny's Yarn Along, don't you? I find myself trying harder in excited anticipation of having something new to post. I also finished the hat I was making for my son; it looks very similar to the baby hat above but doesn't have the alternating 8k8p pattern, as the squash baby hat does and the yarn is a really soft organic cotton yarn.

It looks SOOOOOO much better on him, doesn't it?

I can't stop looking at his beautiful face :) We adopted him through foster/adoption and he is just a precious gift. He looks older than two, doesn't he? He was so happy to see the finished hat. And he wore it ALL DAY in his new pre-school. He attends 3 days a week because both his father and I work full-time. I am hoping to become a stay-at-home mom sometime in the next 3 years and give Waldorf-inspired home-schooling a try. That's another reason I find Ginny's blog so inspiring. I also love Tonya's blog for the same reason. Both these women blog with such love and grace...(happy sigh...) Do you have a special blog to share? I would so love to know about your favs...

I am continuing to crochet my drawer organizer (see last week's Yarn Along post, below) but it's not that interesting to look at yet. Hopefully next week there will be a more inspiring photo. Also, I am reading Organized Simplicity and starting a new "Start Fresh Monday" linky list (see previous entry), if you are interested in sharing your thoughts on "fresh starts" each week, I would love to be a part of that.

Start Fresh Monday

2011-07-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

From the book "Organized Simplicity" in Chapter 3, the author's FAMILY PURPOSE statement:
As a family, we want to glorify God in all we say, do and are.
We will….
1. Put each other first;
2. Cultivate deep relationships with one another;
3. Extend love to those around us;
4. Live simply;
5. Be true to who God made us;
6. Take care of our health;
7. Be good stewards of creation;
8. Be lifelong learners;

Isn't that lovely? And inspiring! I am eternally optimistic and want to make some changes in my life. I want to fire up a "Start Fresh Monday" with a linky list to see and share with others ways to be inspired to "start fresh" or "begin anew". I would love to see your thoughts, inspiration points, read about your challenges and successes in making changes in your life and the life of your family.

I'm new to blogging so don't have many followers yet. But I am still hoping to get this off the ground, however slowly that happens. I hope you will enjoy participating. I so very much look forward to what you have to share (see my first entry, below), thanks.

I am home, listening to a new album from the thrift store (Progressive Pickin’)…never heard of it but am enjoying it, the piano reminds me of my Grandma “chording” for my Grandpa’s old-time fiddling. Joaquin is playing happily in the playroom with our puppy for company. I am working away at the dining room table and feeling, for a few precious (fleeting?) moments, that all is as it should be. I am on chapter 3 of Organized Simplicity, thinking hard about our family purpose statement. I have been thinking about it on and off for weeks. Really seeing what our intense love of “stuff”, “things”, or “crap” has cost us. Author Tsh Oxenreider points out that “stuff” can:
1. Erode my family’s purpose;
2. Water down the potency of our life choices;
3. Reduce finances and abundance;
4. Cause stress;
5. Prevent us from living life to the fullest;
6. Damage the environment;

In light of what I am working toward, I am bemused by the fact that we just bought an outdoor garden gazebo. Do you find yourself acting in a way that is so at odds with your life goals? I find it stunningly perplexing; especially since I am known for my keen analytical abilities and logical thinking in the business world. Why am I so “out there” in my personal life and personal choices? Logic doesn’t just fly out the window…it zooms to the stratosphere. As I write this, I realize I don’t actually know what a “stratosphere” is?? Wow! An internet search reveals that it is a resort in Las Vegas…Who knew?

Anyhow…Back to the family purpose statement…I am reading samples in the book and wondering how I got so far off course in my life and for so long. Some remnants of some of Jesus’ teachings come to my mind, so I look them up…turns out it’s from Matthew 6, starting with verse 19:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

I feel sad because I know in my heart my treasures have been God, Jesus, my family and friends, but certainly my actions have shown that I value things and success much more. I am not here to lie to myself. I am here to be honest and confront where I am so I can, hopefully, move toward where I wish to be. I have started down this path so many times before and always, always lose my way. Can I really believe that this will be any different? I do! I have such hope that it will be…I have hopes to be helped and supported by others, perhaps you, dear reader. And also to offer support and help, in return.

Thanks...wishing for you an organized, simple, lovely day!

Wednesday Yarn Along

2011-07-27T12:59:00.000-07:00

Joining Ginny’s Yarn Along today. I have started knitting a Baby Squash Hat for my newborn nephew and am in a bit of a bungle due to flubbing the first row of decreases. Had to pull out a lot of rows to recover so am still working to get all the stitches back on the needles so I can go forth and conquer! I hope I finish before he grows too much.

As a newbie knitter, I love having the book with this pattern because there are a lot of inspiring choices and, with just one skein per, I can get a lot of varying experience in a shorter period of time. Or was that more frustrating moments faster? I forget…

As part of my grand scheme to get organized, I started crocheting a drawer organizer. I have been crocheting since I was a child so it’s my confidence builder when knitting gets too humiliating. I often laugh when I think of how I try to avoid the feeling of being humbled and then, in turn, I ask God to teach me to be humble. I am super excited about all the great patterns that are in this little booklet and I ordered the cone of yarn to make lots of things. I wanted the Ecru cone too, but it was out of stock. Patience, my dear…

I am shocked to find myself reading this book:

Why did I choose it? I don’t really know. Do you ever watch yourself do something and think "Huh? I wonder why I did that?" I did read a review that made it sound really interesting and it so happens that it was on a shelf at Target when I was in a buying mood. But really... I don’t get the appeal of the rock-n-roll drug lifestyle. All that traveling around...not being able to be out in the world without being bothered by people who think they know you...but really don't. Yuck. The thing is, I love reading memoirs because I get a chance to see the world through another's viewfinder. So why not someone who is so far from my little world? I am curious as to how much of the bewildering experience of being human is truly shared, regardless of culture and life experiences. As a bonus, it tickles my funny-bone to see his book on my homey dining table!

Organized Simplicity: Part 1

2011-07-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

I grab my new book “Organized Simplicity” from a stack of books because TODAY is the day I am really going to GET GOING on organizing my ENTIRE life, and…well…the bottom of the book is really sticky. EW! Covered with dried orange juice? Yuck! How long has it been like that? Are ALL the books in the stack covered in goo?

As I’m marching into the kitchen grunting with frustration, it pops into my head that this sticky book represents a little picture of my life. I have sticky messes everywhere. I can’t help but laugh at myself. Do you have a funny story about getting organized?

The stack. Providing a glimpse of the chaos that is about to be organized.

Not all messiness is a bad thing.

Wednesday Yarn Along

2011-07-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

Knitting is a newly acquired skill for me and I am still amazed and so very pleased with myself when I finish knitting anything. I feel like a proud kindergartner holding up my finger painting. Even if I'm by myself when I finish, I just keep smiling and feel like clapping for myself! My stitches are still uneven but I kind of like that as everything really has that homey look to it. This is a hat for my son, Joaquin. He's 2 and everytime he see's me knitting he asks "knitting blanket?". So he was really happy to learn that I was knitting a hat for him and is always eager to "try it on" as it progresses. I love the softness of this yarn. The pattern is from "60 Quick Baby Knits" but I am altering the top of the hat to look like this. I still have a lot of problems dropping stiches when working with the dp needles, but then am ridiculously proud of myself when I can fix it. It used to be a complete mystery to me. My friend, Almut, who taught me to knit would just look at my mistake and go "oh you just ..." and then quickly fix it and I would sit there and wonder "how can she possibly tell what is going on with those stitches?" They just looked like this really mysterious jumble. But now I can see the stitches and see the difference between a purl and a knit stitch! It's such a little joyful feeling to gain a new skill. And when I finish a project, all the little frustrations and struggles are forgotten in the pleasure of finishing and the full feeling of accomplishment.

The book I am reading, "The Life Organizer" is part of my little project to try to get more organized and purposeful and spend my very precious time on what really matters. That is such a challenge for me, and as the days go by it has really sunk in that my body, my skin and bones, won't always be alive in this world. And I find living to be such a gift. I want to make the most of it and milk the joy and love out of every little bit.

I forgot to mention the lovely Yarn Along from this really, truly, lovely blog.

Learning to simplify with abundance

2011-04-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

When my oldest son, now age 23, was the age of my youngest son, now age 2 1/2, (not a type-o, they are more than 20 years apart) I created elaborate Easter baskets for him each year. When I shopped for him, I always wanted to, somehow, be able to buy him MORE. He doesn't remember those Easter baskets and I just remember being stressed about pulling it all together and how it somehow looked like lots of stuff, but not very personal. And how much love went into it. Throughout the year, I was always on the lookout for great stuff for his basket.

For my dear little one, now, I want to do special things that are simpler, hand-made, and somehow...richer. I started by crocheting eggs, with little chicks, but then realized he doesn't know what eggs are yet, since we don't eat them all that often at home and it wouldn't mean that much to him. Note to self--teach him about eggs and where they come from!
.
I had purchased a darling knit bunny pattern book, but didn't have time enough to make them. I first saw the bunnies on Alicia Paulson's lovely blog Posie Gets Cozy. Luckily, the book with the knitted bunnies (see Ravelry project) also had a cute little chicken pattern--and he DOES know what chickens are! I also wanted to grow my own wheatgrassnn for his basket, but that didn't work out either, so I just bought some and stuffed it into his basket. Next year, I'll try again on the home-grown, but I was very happy with the results.

He likes the chickens, but was even more thrilled with the chocolate eggs. Of which I ate some when he was napping. Yes, I am a bad person. I know that. But he doesn't. Yet.

Spicy soup!

2011-04-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

I once had this memorable spicy carrot soup at the Sacramento Natural Foods Coop cafe and have always wanted to try making it at home. I did some recipe research and came up with my own version. It was quick, easy, and yum!

1/2 Onion, chopped
2 Tblsp EVOO
2 cloves Garlic (no need to chop, see "secret" tip in recipe)
6-7 Carrots, grated
1 small Yam, grated
2 tsp fresh Ginger, grated
2 1/2 cups Water
1 small can Tomato Paste (would have used fresh tomatoes, if I had any)
1 Bay leaf
1/2 tsp dried Chile pepper flakes
1/4 tsp Cayenne
1/2 can Lite Coconut Milk
Salt and Pepper, to taste (I used very little, next time will use no salt)

1. Saute the Onion in the oil for 5-7 minutes
2. Add the Garlic, Carrots, Yam, and Ginger, saute for 5 mins
3. Add the Tomato Paste, Water, and spices
4. Cover and simmer until the Carrots, Yam, and Garlic are tender (about 15 mins)
5. Pull the Garlic to the side of the pan and mash with a fork (psst....no need to mince the garlic ahead of time!)
6. Add Coconut Milk and cook for 2-3 minutes
7. Test flavor, adjust spices if needed, and serve!

Photos to follow, not a pretty soup but very yummy!

Laugh, love, live...

2011-04-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

I often start my morning in poor, grumpy humor--which frustrates me and has the unfortunate effect of making me grumpier. (And yes, I do see the humor in that, but, sadly, never quite in the moment where it might do some good.) Does this happen to you? Instead of being thankful for all my many, many blessings...I find myself focused on one complaint after another, usually involving some mean judgement on my husband or the world in general. It's a habit I repeat most days (well, that is the definition of a habit, now isn't it?) but today something wonderful happened which I hope (fingers crossed...let it be true!) will be a bit of a cure. As part of my journey in trying to address this unhappy habit, (as you can probably guess, it hasn't been helpful to a happy marriage even though we are pretty darn happy together in spite of my unfortunate failings) I have, at least, stopped VOICING my complaints most days. Today, I asked God (OK, maybe it was more of a demand than a request), but I did ask him to help me shut up the voice of the devil that whispers all of these mean, discontented, unfair, irrational thoughts into my head. It didn't work at first, so I wearily suggested to Got that it might need his full powers today. Immediately, I thought "What have you DONE? God's full powers??? Ack!!! I take it back! I take it back! Then I thought, "Well I do need a bit more of his power..." Here's the funny thing. I suddenly heard the voice of Montgomery Scott from Star Trek saying "I'm giving her all she's got, captain." in his Scottish brogue and Captian Kirk yelling back "We need more power!" And just like that! My unhappy mood vanished and I was laughing out loud. Suddenly able to feel love for my husband and gratitude for the day. Another prayer answered using the voices from Star Trek...

I like this bread

2010-08-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am surprisingly proud of myself. For years I have been interested in the raw food way of eating, but was just too intimidated to even begin. Today, I finished my very first batch of Mango Bread (recipe from the book "Raw Food for Real People") and made really tasty sandwiches by layering No-Bean Hummus (recipe from the book "RAWvolution, Gourmet Living Cruisine"), baby Spinach, Tomato slices (just delievered today by Farm Fresh to You), and thinly sliced Onion. Prior to trying out raw food, I have never liked sandwiches (just ask my sandwich-loving husband). But I ate THREE of these babies today! Even better, our toddler liked them so I feel all warm and lovey-mellow because I'm getting him to like healthy food. Happy, happy me!

Hello

2010-08-26T21:10:00.001-07:00

I am kerri and this is my blog